There is something to be said about a particular culture that invests in and builds up the men involved in that culture. Schools, churches, businesses, families, sports organizations — just to name a few places. If you are reading this blog, you are probably one of the following: a man, someone who wants to understand men better, or (sadly)… you are reading this because you are skeptical about building up men. WE need to be building up men. This is not optional.

There are ways that God has uniquely made men and women different. Other than the obvious differences in body parts, throughout the Bible and human history, we see core themes for men and women, respectively. Men are called to be strong, to protect, and to live out a mission bigger than themselves. Women offer their nurturing selves to those in their lives and are called to live out of their God-given beauty. Think about the men and women you admire the most; they probably fit these categories well. A man’s bench press or his salary is not what makes him a man. Many men hide behind their gym habits and massive houses from their authentic masculine heart. On the flip side, a woman’s number of children, her marital status, and having the perfect body are not part of her feminine heart. A beautiful woman creates, loves, and consistently brings her vulnerable self to others.

If we are going to build up men in every area that we occupy, we must admit that we have failed men. Actually, we need to confess and repent. There is a wave of feminism right now that just hates men. It has nothing to do with women’s rights and a lot to do with the wounded hearts of those women involved. If you want men (and women) to do well, you cannot hate either gender. It is unhealthy, unholy, and evil. Stop being a hater! Likewise, men should not be hating on women either. It is not cute. You are being a jerk. Knock it off!

To build up men, we must encourage active fathering with the Father for men. Human fathers, we screw up. We are not perfect. Oh, but the love of the Father is so much better than what I can give my son or any other males that I love dearly.

To build up men, we must champion the idea of men having good hearts before all else. A man with a good heart may be a success in the world’s eyes, but he is so focused on God’s Kingdom that he is not worried about looking and living like everyone else. That is boring!

To build up men, we must allow younger boys and men to lead. Yes, actually lead. Will your church allow the youth to lead more than one Sunday a year? Will your church allow input and ideas from boys and men who are not as “seasoned” as others in your pews? I know some of you are squirming in your seats as you read this. “What if they fail?” Ok, but what if they SUCCEED! Most of the bold movements in the Church in the last 50 years are because young people got tired of the status quo, and they literally flipped some tables. What young men in your church can you encourage and propel into leadership? Your excuses hold no weight to the Father.

To build up men, we must have honest conversations with them. We must talk about real issues. Often in the religious world (not just Christians), we have made being masculine synonymous with being a member of an organization. Just be a member, dress nicely, and say the right things. Don’t offend Aunt Gertrude, who is the church matriarch. Because of this, we have made many church members but not disciples of Jesus. There is a stark difference. Talk to men about what is really destroying the masculine heart: pornography, social media addiction, religion over relationship, and lesser gods.

Pray for the men in your life. We need it. And the world needs it!