There is something about a beautiful person that is captivating. When someone (friend, lover, family, stranger in the grocery store) is able to love others with their joy, bring light to dark situations, and has a generous heart, we stop and pause. Who is this person and what makes them this way? If they follow Jesus, we get even more mystified as we know many people who follow Jesus and yet are nasty to others.

As I mentioned in my previous post, the Church and Culture are not always kind to men (and women). One arrow that is continually shot at women involves their beauty. Beauty is not just outward appearance. Beauty is when a women is secure in who she is and in turn brings her unique self to others. She is free to love just how God loves her. A beautiful person (and woman) starts with finding who they are in God.

I know someone reading they may say, “well what if she does not believe in God?” You can be a beautiful person and not believe in God; however, this is where the struggle occurs. Where is the focus for your heart and mind? This is where the comparison game can haunt women. You see the mom on social media who seems to have it all together. Maybe, you see the wife who is always spoiling her husband. Lastly, you see the successful woman who is a rock star at work and church.

Here are some ideas to help you find who God created you to be…..

Find your identity in God. This will cause you everlasting joy that will surpass all of the temporary moments of happiness.  Where do you go to find beauty? What is your view of God? Your core beliefs are so important to who you are. Check your beliefs and your assumptions about God.

Break agreements. Every person has moments of struggling with self-worth. Take inventory of the agreements that you have made in your heart and mind. Agreements are things that we have accepted as true and we live them out. What agreements have you made that are unhealthy and unbiblical?

Live in joy. There is something about a person having a lovely or ugly spirit. I don’t mean their looks either! If you want to display beauty, then live from your heart. When you live in joy, ladies, you will set other women free (with God’s help) who have been held captive by what has been “expected” of them by weird societal and Church expectations. Who you are in God is what makes you beautiful–and fearfully and wonderfully made.

Good morning, friends! I do not write as much as I would like; however, I usually prefer to write a series of blogs that pertain to one particular topic. This series will feature the struggles of men and women. Why is this important? Because this is something that we usually do not talk about. We might read books, ponder these issues privately, or assume that other people are not experiencing the same struggles.

We will begin our series with the struggle of men and vulnerability. Vulnerability is the desire and actions to really be known by others. So, why do men struggle with the idea of vulnerability? I see several reasons why and they have come from arrows that the Church and Culture have thrown at us. (Note: Church is a generic term. Culture is society’s beliefs and worldviews and whatever is currently “trending” in the moment.)

Our unique role has been blurred. – No one seems to know what men should be these days. Log on to social media (yes, even your friends’ pages) and you will see a mess. Angry mom blogs tout women as the only provider for children. The Church sends mixed messages to men as well. Some groups within Christianity promote a view of masculinity that is overbearing, in control, and lord of all domains. The opposite groups within Christianity almost seem to not want men to be men at all. 

Where do we go with this mixed message? We find our identity as men in God and in the Scriptures. You won’t find your identity in a political party, neighborhood group, or your job title. All of these things will greatly fail you. A man will only find his identity in God; everything else is superficial or partially fulfilling.

Our systems do not encourage honest sharing. – Take one look around your workplace, church, or small group that you participate in. What would it look like to share authentically and from a spirit of vulnerability? How would your workplace handle it if someone finally called out the obvious in a staff meeting? Can you imagine a church gathering where someone shared that they have not talked to God in a long time struggle with a particular sin? Most responses to these situations would be short and lacking in wisdom.

We need to start fostering healthier systems in all aspects of our lives. We cannot ask people to be vulnerable and yet build systems that are more concerned with how things look than how things really are. Culture is everything. Examine your cultures that are venture into and ask yourself how you can improve these areas.

If you are a male and reading this, please find some other men that you can be real with. Men that will encourage you and also call you out on your bullcrap. If you are a female and reading this, please know that vulnerability for men (friend, lover, brother, etc.) is not something we easily do. When we trust you, it takes a lot!

Our next blog post will be on the Struggles of Women: Revealing Beauty.